Name: The Book of JD, King James Version
Uploaded: 2026-04-23T23:43:00Z
Duration: 5 min 38 s
Description: Editor at Large: Satire from columnist Gerard Baker describing how 'Donald was anointed by God to lead the Chosen People out of the slavery into which they had fallen.'

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Editor at Large: Satire from columnist Gerard Baker describing how 'Donald was anointed by God to lead the Chosen People out of the slavery into which they had fallen.' Photo: Patrick Semansky/AP/Gage Skidmore/ZUMA Press

https://m.wsj.net/video/20260423/6e29615e-89e9-4cd7-bdfe-8ab1b2df648f/3/hls/manifest-hd-wifi.m3u8

Editor at Large: Satire from columnist Gerard Baker describing how 'Donald was anointed by God to lead the Chosen People out of the slavery into which they had fallen.'

The Book of JD, King James Version

I think it's very, very important for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Now, a reading from the "Book of JD." And it came to pass that a man named Donald went forth from the land of Queens across the Great East River from the city they called the New Jerusalem. Now, the Trumpite was a master builder and a skilled storyteller, but he was not at first a man of God.

So help me God.

Congratulations.

But Donald was anointed by God to lead the chosen people out of the slavery into which they've fallen under the wicked rule of the House of the Democrats. They were led by a man named Obama.

So help me God.

Congratulations, Mr. President.

Obama was a false prophet. He was silver tongued and worshiped by the scribes who falsely proclaimed him the Messiah.

We are better off now than we would have been if I hadn't taken all the steps that we took.

But he visited many torments on the people, affordable care, emissions rules and restrictions on their lending practices. God's wroth was upon him.

We want Hillary Clinton to be the next president of the United States. Thank you.

All right, some Hillary fans here.

That's right. It's her turn.

So when the Obamaites anointed the wife of another prophet, a woman named Hillary, as their next leader...

You could put half of Trump's supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables.

The people rebelled.

The President of the United States.

For four years, the man known as Trump ruled the people with justice and goodness, bringing great prosperity throughout the land as he freed his people from burdensome taxes and onerous regulations.

COVID-19 can be characterized as a pandemic.

But in the fourth year of his reign, God sent forth a great plague to test the people. And the people were sorely afraid.

We are going to defeat the invisible enemy. I think we're gonna do it even faster than we thought.

They listened not to the voice of their leader and fell among themselves with protest and rioting, even if it was mostly peaceful.

Now they're witnessing out of our White House a militarized response to peaceful demonstrators.

In the affray, Democrats seized their chance to destroy the prophet.

220,000 Americans dead. Anyone who's responsible for that many deaths should not remain as president of the United States of America.

Led by the ancient Joseph, a priest from the family of Biden.

Mr. President.

Mr. President.

Who, at 935 years old, was a cousin of Methuselah. The Bidenites stole the battle from the Trumpites with much chicanery and cheating.

So help me God.

Congratulations, Mr. President.

And then having wickedly deposed him, they set about to destroy him.

Donald Trump may have authored the art of the deal, but he perfected the art of the steal.

They tore into him with false claims and writs and calamities against him.

For those who have been wronged.

But the Trump height was courageous and yielded not to their persecutions.

I am your retribution. We will take care of it.

And so it happened that before long, Biden had grown so old that he struggled with the simplest of tasks. So the tribe of the Democrats brought forth another woman, this one called Kamala.

We need Kamala Harris, the president of joy. ♪ Freedom, freedom ♪

And they said, "You're out, Joe. "This is the anointed one who will continue our work."

Let us choose joy!

But Kamala was weak-minded and had a laugh like a donkey that grievously alarmed the people. And so in a final battle, the Trumpites prevailed, smiting Kamala.

So help me God.

Congratulations, Mr. President.

Now, Donald ruled with ever greater strength and virtue. He closed the border to the illegal aliens, ended crime, drove out the users from the Central Bank and made the country great again. And having brought peace and prosperity to the chosen people, Donald decreed, that the whole world should be brought to the same place.

To begin with, I ended eight wars. And it may be a little early to say this, but if we add Iran and Lebanon, that will be 10 wars ended and many, many millions of lives saved.

But not all believed in the greatness of the man. Some sought to sew doubts among the people.

I don't think that the message of the gospel was meant to be abused in the way that some people are doing.

The leader of the Romans, a man named Leo, who was weak on crime and probably an Obamaite...

He's a very liberal person.

Understood not the truth nor any of the meanings of God's words, and he spoke all kinds of calumniates against Trump.

I think someone has to stand up and say, "There's a better way to turn this."

That is why I, JD, am here to be a witness and explain it so that all, yes, even the Romans, will come to acknowledge the truth here. End of the lesson.

WSJ Opinion: The Book of JD, King James Version

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